Don’t laugh! My late Granny used to stop me from being shy by saying
“Why so shy! When you were just born, I used to kiss your cucu!”

“Mum! Mum! OMG. What happened here?”

True story. 🤣

I could not verify if kissing cucu is a Chinese/ Hakka/ Hokkien tradition in my Tan-Yeap-Chen families.

Granny was a Penang-born Hokkien Chinese with surname “Tan“. My grandpa from mum’s side was Hakka “Moyet” Clan with surname “Yeap“. My dad was Hakka from “Tsang” Sing Village in Guangzhou, with surname “Chen“.

Could it be that a Chinese mother or a Chinese Grandmother is so proud of having a son in the Chinese Clan family, that they would kiss the new-born baby’s penis out of gratitude and their prayers to God answered? (#JustSaying)

My readers please comment about Penis-Kissing Chinese Tradition probably by women only, I imagine. (I mean I can’t imagine my Grandpa kissing my new-born cucu, you know).

And I’m not sure I want to continue this Chinese tradition if it’s all true.

Taking about cucus in my family.

For many years, my siblings heard my late Granny claimed that my eldest brother, Tom’s cucu was uniquely very dark. I was always curious about this – as mine is normal Chinese skin color.

So one fine day around 15 or so years ago when my parents, Tom, and my other siblings were holidaying in either Langkawi or Penang island, I took great courage to find out the real truth about my Granny’s claims.

I mean my Granny obviously was an expert in generational penis observations to ensure future Chinese generations will survive.

I initiated it by buying Tom a Batik shirt and a pair of shorts at the resort hotel as my gift.
When he was trying on the shorts in the fitting room, I made an indecent proposal:

“Hey Tom, I heard from Granny that your cucu was very dark. Can we compare our cucus side-by-side?”
“I show you mine, you show me yours, ok.”
“Yes, of course. I’m curious too!”
“OMG Grandma! That cucu is dark – very dark!”
“Wow! Yours is so fair!  Is that normal?”
“Ya ya! Mine is a typical Chinaman cucu, ok! Yours is not!”
“Did your cucu get darker or lighter in color as you grow up?”
“Same color.”
“Man, you have a Peranakan cucu (Straits-born Chinese who wear Malay costumes, and talk with mixed Malay-Baba & Nyonya dialect).”
“I want a Black Pernanakan Cucu!”
“I’m going to ask Dr. Andrew since he has a Botox-Beauty-Hair Growth Anti-Aging Clinic where can I do cosmetic surgery to blacken my cucu.”
“Once you go Black, you won’t go back.”

I must categorically deny that my other 2 siblings Andrew and Jimmy were ever involved in this Cucu Comparison 1.0.

Lately, I heard family rumors there will be a Cucu Comparison 2.0.

Since I got circumcised in 2015, I heard my siblings and Mum are curious and want to see what a circumcised penis looks like since I’m the ONLY known Chen who has ever been circumcised in the last few centuries.

Hey! You think this is F@$%&g freak show or what!

That’s for me to know, and for you to find out!

All I can say is mine has a unique, foreskin-less, bulging neck that is wider than the head as a direct result of a very late in age circumcision. It’s definitely a new and improved product – for both users, and owner’s pride.

Mine is now a certified Halal and Kosher cucu, mind you.

End of story.
True story. 🤣

#ChinesePenisKissingTradition
#PenisComparison

#GrannyThugLife
#HowToGetANewAndImprovedPenis
#HalalPenis
#KosherPenis

Published: 4th June 2019.

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