My Darkest Secret Confession – The Butterfly Kisses (BK Memoirs, Chapter 7)

What are Dark Secrets?

A piece of information that is extremely private and confidential, usually implied to be embarrassing, incriminating, or shameful.

There are 10 Types of Dark Secrets

My dark secret has 3 types of dark secrets – a personal dark secret, a religious dark secret, and a sexual dark secret.

The only person in the BK family who knows my dark secret is Sister Maureen, because it happened in Hong Kong, one year after I migrated there. I also did a Healing Confession process with a personal effectiveness workshop which all participants agreed to keep P&C revealed dark secrets, unless you get their permission to share.

In 1988, I was a 29 year old virgin. I was practicing “Brahmacharya” or celibacy, is the state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations. An unmarried person without a sexual partner may be able to give more time to God’s work.

The year earlier I had my greatest downfall in my BK career. I confessed in front of the Dadis after Dadi Prakash Mani gave murli class in Madhuban, Mt. Abu, India. It was translated into Hindi. I made a huge mistake, I was seduced by a 9 tailed bad Daji entity who claimed that a young woman BK student will be the God of BKs, Bapdada’s new chariot. She as a Fake Chariot, a Daji Seducer.

Very early in my BK career, I was decided to a Surrendered Instrument for God. Although I was not the typical Indian Surrendered BK Sister who are totally surrendered which means their food, accommodation, travelling, and allowance are provided by the BK Raja Yoga Centre or by BKWSU, like Sister Meera, the Director of Brahma Kumaris Malaysia. 

I remember like it was yesterday the Marriage Vow to Baba Ceremony in Madhuban where there were around 50 Double Foreigner BK Teachers and I took the marriage vow. All of us receive either a BK Silver ring or a BK Gold Ring which is very hard to get. I earned my BK Gold Ring, by virtue of being the world’s second BK leader, after my eldest brother Tom.

Tom and Maureen also had their BK Gold Ring as they surrendered their lives to Baba, however they lead separate lives and did service in different countries. They also sleep in different rooms whenever they visited their parents, or when travelling together.

Among the 50 who did the Marriage to Baba Vow Ceremony was a BK sister whom I later friended her in Hong Kong. She was very sweet woman. We did BK service in many occasions. We got along well, it was a platonic friendship. Let’s call her Sophie, for easier reference.

Then… it was a dark and stormy night… No! I borrowed the line from Peanuts cartoon character Snoopy’s classic opening line in his writing.

It was a Saturday, I asked to Sophie to come to my work office, to probably photocopy some documents she wanted. We were kidding around, laughing, I started to pull her around, tease her, she tease back.

Then Sophie suggested to play Butterfly Kisses. She said, “to experience and to feel the most softest, the most sensual touch you can ever feel.” This was the erotic conversation Sophie and I had…

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Side Note about the “Butterfly Kisses Scenario Conversation”:

Robren wrote a very long section about the erotic conversation Sophie and Robert had. After reading it again, it was very clear that it was way too erotic to include this ebook which will be read by a wide range of audience, including children. Plus like they say “it’s unnecessary sex” for some infamous Hollywood scenes.

The whole conversation was highly suggestive, around his trying to guess what are butterfly kisses.

If you want access to this private “password-protected” section online, pm in fb.com/RobrenTwinSouls. But be warned, once you’ve read it, you can’t unread it.

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The Butterfly Kisses incident ended with no sexual intercourse, with both of us agreeing it was better to stop our passionate conversations.

But we would see each other every day in BK Murli classes. And every time when I brushed against Sophie in the  cramped spaces in Hong Kong, I have “happy sensual triggers” of my “most softest, the most sensual touch I can ever feel.” It was driving me crazy. I had to see her privately again.

This time, she was house-sitting someone’s apartment. I went to spend a day a Saturday with her. We ended up dry humping. I couldn’t get enough of it. So I planned my most daring move yet. I told her to meet where she was staying “The Woodside”, a famous huge 20 bedroom ‘haunted’ double storied colonial-style up Mt. Parker Road, Quarry Bay.

I still remember like it was yesterday, it was in the afternoon, when all residents in that dormitory were out. We were on constant look out for people who might drop in, as we made out and fore played. Then it’s time to… I couldn’t do it! It was soft, maybe it was guilt, I don’t know. I tried so desperately to… Later Sophie revealed that she had her tampon on, so I couldn’t have done it.

But I freaked out. I could have leaked, you know. I was a 29 year old virgin, with no experience of seduction. I called my brother Dr. Andrew. He advised for her to take the morning after pill. She did. We cooled off for a few weeks. One night, I told her I missed her kisses, Sophie was a very passionate and sensual kisser. We walked to a remote hilly park nearby the BK centre. We kissed like there was no tomorrow, or like we were the last surviving couple alive on Earth. It was heaven on earth. That was my last kiss with Sophie. We didn’t go out privately again.

And that my readers, is the last confession in my BK Memoirs.

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Dark Secret Healing Confessions

Some of the readers might be wondering what is the big deal about premarital sex. Why was it a “dark secret”?

It was a dark secret for Robert as he had made a solemn vow to be “married” to God, and to practice celibacy by choice. It was a dark secret Robert kept it as a secret from BKs until during a Eau de vie, a personal effectiveness course when he revealed to the group in the “Dark Secret Confession” process. It liberated him from the deep shame, guilt, and he took ownership of his life.

This “Dark Secret Healing Confession” process is a very empowering module in the upcoming “The Law of Repulsion”, where you are coached to settle your karmic debts first, or you can’t attract success and make your dreams come true.

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