IS HEAVEN HALAL?”
[WARNING: This is a Non-Halal Satire]

If you have no sense of humor or a religious bigot, please don’t read pass this! (second warning, your faith will be forever shaken haha).

If 3/4 of the Earthlings found out that Heaven is actually Halal, I think half will rather go to HELL.

Q. What IF you found out that Heaven is NON-Halal, will it be your biggest upset of all time and you refuse to go to Heaven (just saying)?”

Q. WHAT IF as a dead Jihadist, you found out that the 72 Virgins waiting in Heaven are non-halal Christians?
Is it the same 72 Eternal Virgins as promised by a Holy Book (it implies the oldest profession is in Heaven). Is there an expiry date for any of these ageless Virgins?
Is there any way a Jihadist can check if she is still a Virgin? What is she is frigid?
If the Jihadist was a female, who are these 72 Male Virgins (what is his race, religion, age; or is there no such heavenly reward as a female jihadist?)
What IF the Jihadist was gay, and wanted…
What if you didn’t like any of the Virgins?
There is no guarantee that the 72 Virgins are beautiful, is there?
What if all the Virgins are on annual leave, and you are left with some sex toys…
Who in Heaven selected the 72 Willing Virgins, anyways?
Do these Virgins have a choice, or it’s God’s Will? Bismillah.

We really should wonder about such thoughts, especially if you are a religious fanatic.

This is a FACT: more than 99% people (as many as there are humans that many Religions there are on Earth) will be very upset or wrong when they get to Heaven. Unless… ALL Religions are somewhat WRONG. 

Maybe, just maybe in The Secret Afterlife… there are NO HUMAN EXPERIENCES…
no sex, no virgins, no eating, no sickness, no jobs, no war, no death, no birth, no aging, no iPhone, no cars, no cigarettes, no food, no water, no internet, no money, no power, no corruption, no Karma, no punishment, no 10 Commandments, no human rewards, no wars, no politics, no police, no courts, no human sounds, no human sight, no music, no DJ/VJ, no gravity, no movement, no travelling, no weather, no natural or human disasters, no suffering, no time, no measurement, no ghosts, no angels…
no God as humans commonly understand, no race, no Heaven…

no Hell below us, no religion too (John Lennon knew something)…

NOTHINGNESS & Oneness connection with all life, planets, alien life forms
because we don’t have a HUMAN BODY to experience Human Experiences in the secret Afterlife

In the Afterlife, you are in Seed stage waiting for your Reincarnation according to your Soul’s total Karma.

Think about it.