Dying Heart: Brenda’s heart rate hovered at 0 but she did not die yet
There is obviously a time gap first in typing my Whatsapp message (and I’m bloody slow),
and for the team to type and post on both Brenda and my FB walls.
And we got waves and waves of support, well wishing.
I could not see the FB replies until after it was all over cause I was way too occupied to:
One way Whatsapp updates, put mobile to Brenda’s ear for friends to talk to her,
talking out loud who is coming next, treating her like she is totally awake.
Heart rate down to 30-36 at 12:38pm
Royce finally came around 12:45pm
She massaged Brenda.
Her heart rate shoot from 30s to 42, blood pressure goes up by 2-5 points.
By now nearly available Hong Kong friends have visited and said their goodbyes.
I’m now in a very good space as I felt I did something to contribute.
Brenda responds the most to massages
Brenda loves my massages.
One time she shared that my massage helps to alleviate pain from Crohn’s Disease.
So I felt that I not helpless or hopeless when she is having a Crohn’s flare up.
I can contribute by relieving the tensions.
I keeping massaging her for an hour until around 2:00pm.
I have amazed that her heart rate shoots from 30s to 40.
Then my brother Andrew came and he lead The Lord’s prayer between the three of us.
We went to have a quick lunch.
I Whatsapp my staff to close the window of opportunity (11:00am to 2:45pm) of reading messages to Brenda.
I felt tension as I prepared for saying once again my last goodbyes after lunch.
Came into the room.
Ann, our neighbor from Sau Wa Fong was talking to her.
I rushed her to complete it.
I did my last talking to Brenda, hugs, stroking her hair, face, upper chest.
Every time I put my face next to her face I can smell a very distinct smell from a mixture of medical and her own body smells.
I started my own process of grieving.
0 heart rate; 0 over 22 blood pressure for 2 hours.
I Whatsapp this update at 3:08pm which confused everyone:
I said my last goodbye.
Her heart rate is X.
Her blood pressure is 0.
Note: X is one level below the 2nd last level which is 0 with a slight blip in heart line).
The last level is a flat liner – no blip for both heart rate and blood pressure.
I much later saw many people posted condolences, RIP, etc.
Many on seeing that posting thought Brenda had died.
But she did not die – not quite yet.
And not for another 133 minutes.
Published: Sunday, 27 April, 2014. 2:55pm.