Confessions of John Gray, the Author of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” (Warning: Private Adult SEX Education)

4 hours coaching session with John Gray on 18th July 2020.
Organized by Doria Cordova, Global CEO of Money & You.

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NOTE: This is all I could transcribe from the super-fast pace 4 hour zoom session with John Gray.

● 80% of your happiness should not be dependent on your partner.

Like monkeys if a woman feels she is not heard, she’ll get louder and louder.

Don’t make a big issue, or make mountain out of a molehill.

Don’t say “Honey, we need to talk!”

Say, “It’s not a big deal.
“Just let you know that… “.
Go for a 6 second hug, leave the room immediately for the other to digest the message.

Every complaint is a hidden request.

● Anger does not make it safe for women.

● Let your man go into his Cave, you should not talk to him when he goes into his Cave. A man goes into his Cave to empty his mind like the Buddha.

● 3 Biggest Positive Triple Play Statements for Men to Women:
1. “Help me understand that better.”
2. “Tell me more”
3. “What else?”

● Slow Hand in Sex:
4 minutes of kissing

10 minutes of breasts

18 minutes of clitoris

● 4 Hugs a day, 6 seconds hug at least

Takes 6 seconds to create oxytocin = Four 6 second hugs.

Non-sexual hug.

Non-sexual touch compliment, attention will increase oxitoxin.

A non-sexual affectionate hug is more important and more effective than a sexual touch.

Why put $1 to 1 million women, when you can put $1m to one woman.
John F Kennedy would find two new lovers. Newness in a sex partner doesn’t last.

Men will listen as long as he is not being blamed.

Let your male partner solve your problem for you.

● 3 Magic Phases to Pump Up your Man for Women to say to Men:

“You make a difference”

“Good idea!”

“You are right!”

When you appreciate men, they’ll fly.

John has a game called “Olympics Champions”.
Men run on stage and pretend they are doing a victory lap. At the end the men will always bow to the audience as a symbol of service.

● When the man feels appreciated he will serve you.

Women, ASK for MORE from Men:  It is wrong to think men will know, therefore women do not need to ask) – ask, ask, ask your Men, Men want to feel needed and responsible to provide and fulfil what their women ask.

● Women shouldn’t expect men to be mind readers.

Men, If you offer help to women without asking – you get extra bonus.

● Men need their Cave Time – to rebuild his testosterone.

Men need their space.

Q. Women ask what I do when he goes to this Cave?
A. Get a life. Don’t depend on him all the time.

Don’t talk about work after sunset.

Mars Talk: 10 for me, keep feelings out of it,  let’s negotiate,

During Covid-19 stay at home, there were more divorce in China and around the world.

We have a Monkey Brain, we say nasty, rubbish, hurtful words. People blame that they have seen their partners’ true colors but this is not who they are.

If a man is having a cortisol response, the issue may be escalated.

● Genie In a Bottle Game (20 minutes):

He is the Genie, all powerful, “Your wish is my command!” “As you wish.”

Good exercise to get women to ask men, and for men to feel empowered to fulfil the needs and wants of his woman.

Rules: He will do anything you wish for 20 minutes.

He will do nothing until she asks!

She is not allowed to do anything.

● Feminine side receives, but women are not good receivers.

Gratitude is exercising your feminine side.

Masculine side is selfless = gives.

All a man really want is he is successful in providing what you need, he wants to feel appreciated.

● Not caring is what men do.
● Not trusting is what women do.

● Men need to feel trusted, forgiven and competent.

● Women need to feel heard, respected, and safe.

Don’t get caught in their resentments.

So easy to blame the partner.
You are pushing her or him away.

It’s easier to blame our partner than take responsibility.

If I felt all those negative things about a partner, I would be pushing him or her away.

● You must come from an open heart to create love.

Don’t talk about work after dinner time.

● How to heal a broken heart?

John’s first book was “What you feel you can heal.”
John lost Bonnie a few years ago.
He felt guilty, “I could have saved her.”

“You are my champion.” Bonnie helped John when he got angry at the hospital.

● A good friend is not attached to your following his or her advice.
This is the control element in spouses.

● When you are not who you are – you attract bad men.

● Be authentic – not trying to change the other.

● Same sex: we all have Male and Female sides

Extra harmony, gay – one will be more dominant.

● Make sure the woman has an orgasm first.

“I don’t get mine when he gets his.”

Every time I have a climax, I lose him.

She lose interest in sex as well.

John practices Tantric Sex i.e. men don’t release the semen for prolong sex.
Once a man ejaculates semen, his libido immediately subsides, and it takes a longer time to have the next erection.

● If men go for 6 days without releasing semen, he becomes the Alpha Male, twice testosterone, he becomes the King, all women wants the King, high status like wealthy status.

● But RICH women are less happy, because their rich and powerful husbands have a distorted and inflated view of sex.

90% of my pain is not with partner.
90% of the pain is buried in emotional drama.

Avoid small arguments.
Arguments lower testosterone

● The rain will pass, trust the sun will come out.

Secret Money is betrayal, hides money

● Why men hide money, usually they don’t want women to tell him what to do.

Own your crazy feelings – upset about betrayals in the past,

Own our sensitivities.

● Women have much bigger betrayal issues than men.

● Men are married 3 years later.
● Women are married again 9 years later.

The Law of Attraction is the Law of Femininity – Law of Happiness.

Vulnerability – women so easy to go the male side e.g working hard,

Every talk is rehearsal until you on Oprah Show.

Something persists as you are not getting what you want.

● There’s no such thing as a failure. We quit on ourselves.

● Michael Jackson – the only time he was happy when he was on stage performing, otherwise he was a tormented soul.

MJ was very insecure “If I don’t do these songs, then Prince (others) will do it!”

Transcribed by: Robert Chaen

Published: 20th July 2020.


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