Opinions about the Difference between Love, Crush, Lust, Infatuation, Caring, and How
Men and Women experience falling in love differently.
If it exceeds then you are already in love.
“Love goes on when lust is gone.”
C.S. Lewis wrote a seminal book on the subject, The Four Loves.
. Based in part on the four :
agápe, éros, philía, and storgē – charity, lust, friendship, affection.
Writer Robert Heinlein said it this way:
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy — in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.”
, PHD Life and Living & Adulthood, University of Life
There are several different types of love,
- Eros – love that includes physical attraction, lust and intimacy, what we call romantic love.
- Philos – Brotherly love, friendship, camaraderie like how you feel towards a sibling or close friend. How you feel towards people you’ve shared an ordeal with, like in the Military or on a sports team.
- Agape – Unconditional love, how parents feel towards their children or children feel towards their parents. How God loves men and men should love God (if you’re religious).
- Storge – More of an acceptance, charity than love, similar to agape but less intense, you can experience storge with a friend who does things that annoys you, they’re not really your best friend, you don’t feel Philos towards them, but you’re friendly enough and can overlook their faults. Could also represent the love of country, or your favorite sports team.
You can experience Philos for someone without feeling Eros, that’s usually the difference between ‘loving’ someone and being ‘in love’ with someone.
What is the difference between the feelings of affection, attraction, trust, intimacy, love, true love, lust, crush, infatuation, obsession, passion, and compassion? Are they synonyms? How do you know that you are really “in love”?
There are few words which can confuse you infatuation , love, and lust etc.
By Shreya Jha
I always thought infatuation is part of love, I thought they complement each other until I experienced both and discovered that they can’t coexist. There are too many people who are convinced that they’re in love with someone just because they’re amazing and they can’t stop thinking about them, but the truth is most of the time the intensity that comes with really liking someone is not love-it’s infatuation.
Let’s see first.
Infatuation usually occurs at the beginning of relationship when sexual attraction is central. Love can be described as feeling of intense affection for another person. It is most often talked about as an emotion between two persons. Hence is also sometimes referred to as interpersonal love.
Now may be a question arise in your mind that…
How long does infatuation last?
This phase usually lasts from one to six months, but can last as long as two years, or as short as two days. Take it easy in this stage. This is when basic mistakes are made; sound judgment and common sense are having timeout.
Love is an intense feeling of affection toward another person. It’s a profound and caring attraction that forms emotional attachment. On the flip side, lust is a strong desire of a sexual nature that is based on physical attraction. Lust can transform into deep romantic love, but it usually takes time.
Here are some ways to tell the difference.
- Infatuation happens instantly. Love is a slow process.
- Infatuation craves physical affection. Love craves a deeper connection.
- Infatuation makes you act irrationally or ‘crazy.’ Love calms you down.
- Infatuation is intense but short-lived. Love is comfortable but lasts longer.
- Infatuation is reckless with our emotions. Love is more considerate.
- Infatuation has ulterior motives. Love has genuine intentions.
So dear think twice before you fall in love..
What is the difference between love and a crush? Is it true that only a mentally mature person can experience love whereas others (like kids and teenagers) cannot experience love?
By Saumya Sharma
You will stop watching porn when you fall in love. You wouldn’t do that for a crush.
You can’t fall in love with a person you don’t know, like that hot senior you ogle or that cute guy in your bus. That’s just crush and mostly one sided.
When you have a crush on someone, you like their face/body/style/whatever.
When you love someone you love their soul and it’s something very deep.
You share a chemistry with them, if there’s actually any love, but with a crush, that’s not really necessary.
You can forget a crush after a couple of months, you can never forget your love.
A crush would frustrate you, or anger you but never make you cry. A love will make you shed the hottest tears you ever shed, even if you are a hardened grown man.
Maturity almost never plays any role in falling in love, anyone can fall in love. What maturity helps in is to keep that love going.
When your partner get sick and you take him/her to hospital and get her/him medicine and let him/her to rest, it’s care.
When your partner get sick and you take him/her to hospital and get her/him medicine and let him/her to take rest and pray for his/her well being, sometimes feel the same pain as he/she is having and you try to give him/her 100% comfort, you are leaving your sleep to give her/him comfort. That’s LOVE.
When you don’t let him/her cry, that’s care.
When you cry with him/her, that’s love.
When she/he is pain, and you pray for him/her that’s care,
When she/he is in pain, and you pray for him/her, wait for him/her to come, reply about her/his well being, you don’t move a inch till that person come and reply. You put yourself in his/her shoes, and feel the situation from both side, then that’s love.
When you give your arm to hug someone to comfort then it’s care,
But when you give you whole heart to feel someone’s pain(or happiness) then it’s love.
When someone smiles because of you, it’s care,
When someone thanks to his/her life because of you and enjoy every seconds of life, that’s love.
When someone smiles in the presence of you it’s care,
When someone gets another beautiful life in the presence of you, it’s love.
When you reduce someone’s pain, it’s care,
When you feel that pain, that’s love.
Buddha once said “when you like a flower you pluck it, but when you love a flower, you water it everyday”.
So, when you love someone, you don’t see his/her shortcomings, problems and anything else, you just love that person irrespective of how he/she is.
When you love someone, just be with that person, don’t spoil yourself and that person life by playing hide and seek (it’s common nowadays).
Love is the things that should motivate you to rise, but not to fall.
I have seen people falling and ruining themselves in name of LOVE. Dude, that’s not love from both the side, either you didn’t feel the love or your partner didn’t feel it.
Or yeah, don’t forget that you too have a aim for that. Love is also a driving force if you take it in positive way. It’s my driving force as well. So, take love as driving force so that it could drive your life peacefully.
Give love and be loved.
What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with them?
, Experience as relationships adviser
When you’re in love with someone, you want this person.
Being in love is wanting to own a part of the other person. It’s believing this person is so wonderful that you want him or her to be a part of your life, a part of you. When you fall in love with a person, you feel an intense urge to consume that person in any way you can.
Being in love is believing you need someone in order to be happy.
When you love someone, you need this person.
You don’t just want — or rather, don’t only want — you need him or her. You need this person to live a happy and healthy life because your happiness literally depends on it.
You need him or her to be a part of your life in some way or another, not because you want to own a piece of this person, but because you want to give him or her a piece of yourself; loving someone is deeming him or her worthy of owning a part of you.
When you’re in love with someone, you think you care more about that person more than you actually do.
Falling in love is much, much easier than loving. When you’re in love, the chemicals in your brain and body make you feel as if the person is the greatest person in the world.
You believe this person to be the most amazing specimen you have ever encountered. Sadly, this way of thinking usually wears off as soon as the feel-good chemicals wear off. Then you’re left lost and confused.
When you love someone, you care about that person more than you think.
Being in love is easily recognizable, as it makes you feel a constant yearning, a constant need. Loving, on the other hand, doesn’t give you such constant reminders.
However, life always manages to give us those reminders. Life will often keep people away from us, harm those in our lives and sometimes even take them from us entirely.
When you truly love someone, such moments of separation and loss overwhelm you with emotion. People often forget how much they love a person — or fail to realize how much they love them — until life forces them to remember.
When you’re in love with someone, you can fall out of love with that someone.
What goes up must come down. In the case of falling in love, what comes down often crawls back up. If you can fall in love with a person then you know you can just as easily fall out of love with him or her.
Being in love — and romantic love altogether — is mostly a result of our minds’ creation. We make, or allow, ourselves to fall in love by romanticizing the individual as well as the relationship. When you’re in love, reality doesn’t always line up with your version of it.
When you love someone, you never really stop loving that someone.
Loving a person is something that defines you — it defines the person you are. Those we love, those we care about most, those who mean the most to us, and who have affected us most in our lives, are those who never really leave us.
They may remove themselves, or be removed, from our lives, but they never leave our minds. Their memory, the thought of them, makes us feel strong emotion. Their presence in our lives has had such an incredible influence on us that, because of them, we are different people.
When you love someone, you can’t stop loving that person because it would require you to stop loving a part of you yourself.
“In love or loving someone? Love is… letting my heart overrule my head. When I’m in love I’ll do anything for you.”
By Robert Chaen
Here are some excerpts:
Hi my readers and viewers.
I’m in love. I love others.
Firstly, I love and accept myself – “Charity begins at home”.
Self Acceptance is 1 of 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem.
Fifthly, I’m inspired by two Muses in my life.
One is Italian, the other is Malaysian.
Sixthly, I’m looking for a new life partner and companion (“Eros” – romantic).
It’s so good to feel UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
It’s so good to feel self-love and love from some supportive confidante this week
Poet Byron said-
man’s love and man’s life are a thing apart.
it is woman’s whole existence.
Women give their all in love. They do not philosophize love but live it. That’s why women philosophers haven’t existed. Women feel quite stupid in love. And a lot more romantic.
Men feel goofy in love too. But For men,it’s about physical satisfaction and less love. After the thrill of the catch is over,prey secured and sex done,men get easily swayed by another face.
Women are divine beings because they turn egoless in love. Being unselfish is the highest form of love one can give,and this is taken to another level when they have children. So while batman and superman gained glory saving the world,their wives were putting their children to bed. I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions,but women are wired in a very different way in love.
1. Women are less competitive in love. If a man earns less than woman, he becomes inherently insecure,even if there isn’t a reason.
2. Women are monogamous and if women cheat, her husband is not fulfilling her in some way. Men need a place, women need a reason to have sex. Men even have extramarital affairs out of boredom! And history is the witness, powerful men have used their power to have more mistresses and concubines.
3. A woman can look beyond herself and that’s the supremest form of love.
Women love better. Always.
By Ankita B, Dating & Relationship writer at Bonobology.com
I don’t know about ‘falling in love’, but ‘being in love’ is a different experience for men and women.
This is how –
- When a woman is in love her man floats on the surface of her mind for the whole time she is awake, no matter how busy she is. She doesn’t think about him consciously 24*7, but he is there all the time. This is why she doesn’t forget to remind him about eating on time even when she is under terrible work pressure.
- Men can’t have their mind in two places at a time. When they are working, it’s all they are thinking (or about the beer party after work). When they make love, that’s all they do. For a man love is about passion and commitment, not something that needs emotional nurturing 24*7.
- When a woman is in love she starts caring the most about her man’s well-being. When a man is in love he cares the most about the companionship of his woman.
- When a woman is in love she tries to accept things (to the extent she is comfortable of) for the sake of her man.
- Basically, couples in heterosexual relationships act according to how nature intended the relationship to be. Women nurture and men protect. We might not be aware of it consciously, but that’s what we do.
By Bitan Datta, MBBS from Calcutta National Medical College & Hospital
I think they do.
Women love their own folks more than men do. They love and care for their parents, siblings,grandparents or even uncles and aunts more than their male counterparts.
Men love their friends more than women do. They are more loyal and helpful friends, partners and comrades.
This is my personal observation. I cannot quote any authentic source on this. But this helps explain a symbol.
Female- attached to the circle.
Male-moves away from the circle.
This is not to say the reverse cannot be true in certain cases, but in most cases, women love their close relatives and men cherish the social connections. The inner circle and the outer circle. Yin and Yang.
I could have ended my answer here. But there is another observation I’d like to share. It sounds like a BS even to me at times, but part of me thinks this is true and applies to most people.
In an intimate relationship, women look for quality. When they compare their lovers, they discuss how well their partners kiss, how well they caress and cuddle, how sensual they can be in the bed,etc. If a woman gets a new lover, who doesn’t understand the intricacies of lovemaking, the woman is often disappointed and repentant. They treasure the connection, and find it fulfilling.
Men look for quantity. When they compare notes, they usually discuss how many they have slept with, how many were kind enough to gratify them by non-coital acts, how tangible were their assets,etc. You get the drift. When a man gets a new lover, or few new lovers, he is often happy just because of the increase in number. For many, it doesn’t matter if their new flings aren’t putting in an effort. It’s a territorial conquest for them, and they have fetched new lands to disperse their seed.
But of course, there is no hard and fast rule. People cannot be stereotyped and such generic attributes cannot be applied to people in large without detailed case studies. I apologize to all those who feel violated by this view. So please remember, this is just an opinion.
Raksha Bharadia, Founder of http://www.bonobology.com/Default.aspx.
Falling in love can be different experience for the two genders.
- Women love attention. Men want to shower it.
- Women love being pursued, men like to pursue.
- Women fall in love with power (read strength etc.) , men with the feminine side (softness, fragility for some etc.)
- Women do not experience a complete obsession in the beginning, men do.
- this is how men behave….
- This article really sorted out a lot of things for me
- especially the point where the author says, “With women, attention works in a weird way. When somebody in love with a woman stops attending to her, this urge to revert to the days of attentive love impels her to opt for a nincompoop as her lover.”
66 things women do that men love
by Lupos Anony
- Swaying your hips when you walk.
- If you’re my partner, it’s a turn on to see you handle with ease the guys who approach you.
- When you wear a red dress.
- When you cook us meals out of love.
- When you want us to hold you, and protect you.
- When you want our attention and ours only.
- Knowing how to handle your liquor.
- When you come back from a workout all sweaty with your hair up.
- When you get really, really wet.
- Complimenting us.
- A great sense of humour.
- Confidence in yourself.
- Confidence in us.
- We low-key love it when you outsmart us by proving us wrong.
- The manipulative power you have. I personally find it impressive.
- How strongly you feel emotion.
- When you smile.
- When you give us the ‘look’.
- When you burp and fart in front of us.
- When you make mistakes (little ones)
- When you get all dressed up for a night out.
- When you wear make-up.
- When you don’t, and you’re in your pyjama’s with your hair up.
- When you show you care about us.
- When you love our children just as much as we do.
- When you can devour an entire rack of ribs better than we can.
- When you tell another woman to leave your man alone.
- When you bite your lip.
- When you like trouble just as much as we do.
- Holding our hands.
- Coming to us for protection.
- Depending on us to some degree.
- Wanting sex as much as we do.
- Downing a shot like it was water.
- Having your ‘girls night’.
- Remember the things we talk about, especially our interests.
- When you fancy us. We can tell by your constant glances.
- Being the bigger spoon sometimes.
- Instinctively covering your mouth when giggling
- Hugging us tighter
- A playful punch in the arm during conversation
- The nurturing way you talk to children
- Resting your head on our shoulder while watching TV or a movie
- When you see a cricket, scream and come running to hug us
- When she appreciates the small, chivalrous gestures we purposely make an effort with to be noticed.
- Sometimes when you get moody and flustered because of your hormones.
- When you’re moody and flustered but still laugh at your stupid jokes.
- When you tell us about what you love.
- When you explain what you love about us.
- When you take control of us (sometimes).
- When you’re passionate about a hobby of yours.
- When you understand we sometimes need space.
- When you reassure us.
- How peaceful you look whilst you’re sleeping.
- When you want to be carried to bed.
- When you mispronounciate words (it’s cute).
- When you tell your friends about us.
- When you get along really well with our family.
- When you nurture our child
- Your soothing voice.
- When you sing in the shower.
- Finding hair, everywhere.
- When you mark your territory with hair bobbles and an arsenal of conditioner bottles.
What is one thing all women love?
Women love compliments.
by Myra Scott
Don’t compliment her on the obvious. If you want her to take you seriously, take her seriously. The pretty woman rarely hears that she’s smart. The smart woman rarely hears that she’s pretty. Learn a few observation skills and find out what someone wants to be, and compliment that.
The “Best” Compliment
Women know we are in constant competition. Men are always looking, always comparing. If you say to your wife, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world” we know you are BSing. We appreciate the sentiment, but there’s no way that’s true. Especially because we see your roaming eyes.
Want your lady to feel special? Pick out a part of her that is the “best.”
“You have the most beautiful ears. Seriously. They are perfect.”
“These are the most beautiful hands in the world. I mean it. You should be a hand model.”
“I love kissing your neck. It always smells so nice and feels so soft. I just love the curve of it. You have a beautiful neck.”
Yes, you can pick the boobs or ass, but try to find something you sincerely enjoy about the woman in your life, that she can believe really is unique and special and that you are the only person who knows her well enough to appreciate it.
These are powerful things. Use compliments responsibly.
All About Men That Women Don’t Understand
Yes, I know If my gf reads this, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
2. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
3. Crying is blackmail.
4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
5. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
6. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
9. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys..
10. If something we said can be interpret in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
11. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
12. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
15. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
16. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
17. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games
18. You have enough clothes.
19. You have too many shoes.
20. Yes, we love sex.
By Chris Lang
Here are my basic rules for pursuing a girl I like:
Rule #1: If she’s in a relationship, don’t pursue her.
Rule #2: Be confident.
Rule #3: Be yourself. Don’t lie.
Rule #4: Keep her engaged. This is the hardest one because it takes a bit of the intangibles like charisma and charm, but with practice these can be developed. Girls have amazing ADD when you’re pursuing them.
You don’t have to keep her enthralled all night straight but strive for solid 10 minute conversations where the two of you are making consistent eye-contact and the conversation is flowing. This will establish the rapport that you’re trying to build. After 10 minutes of good conversation it is safe to ask for her number if the situation dictates it and she will give it to you if you’ve succeeded.
Rule #5: Don’t double-text. You’ve got her number and sent her a text. If she’s interested she will return it. Pay attention to the duration between her receiving and returning your texts. If she waits an hour, don’t return fire immediately, wait a bit depending on her message. You may think she likes you, but girls use text-etiquette as a filter, so don’t blow it by getting desperate and sending her a text asking why she hasn’t responded when you thought you had a really good time together. Well formed voicemails or phone calls keeping in mind the above rules can also be a good idea, but let her dictate communication frequency. You can’t force anything here and you will ruin your chances if you try.
Rule #6: Decrease your chances of rejection.
When securing a date, whether its your first, second or whatever make sure she is available to go out before you ask.
Rule #7: If you’ve done all this and it’s still like pulling teeth to get her to go out with you, stop pursuing. This may actually shift the dynamics in your favor and make her interested in you again. It has happened to me for sure. If it doesn’t, let her go and find another girl.
Rule #8: It ultimately comes down to compatibility. Be honest about your feelings and don’t force something that’s not there or you’ll pay the price later. Heartbreak is tough and constant communication is important so both parties can know if the relationship is working or not working.
7 Stages of Psychology
By , a relationship enthusiast living in New York, coming from Vietnam
In fact, men fall in love with women through 7 main stages, which are:
Appreciation – Infatuation- The Attraction- Impression- Conviction- Reaffirmation- “I Love You”.
But, appearance is the first thing that attracts men. Then, men will steadily get to know the woman, mainly the personalities of her. So, somehow it can be said that the way men fall in love is from outside to inside.
For women, they tend to fall in love slower than men. But, it is stable than men, according to me.
By Marcos Gonzalez
, Founder, Investor, Mentor
- Girls smell good
- Girls are nice to look at
- Girls laugh nice
- Girls take care of themselves
- Girls take care of me
- Girls are tough
- Girls don’t give up
- Girls make me admire them
- Girls make me feel admired
- Girls are smarter than they let on
- Girls forgive me even tho I’m dumb
- Girls don’t ask for much in life
- Girls enjoy life more
Published: 28th March 2019.
Updated: 31st March 2019.
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Whisperings by Whisperer Robert Chaen.
Mastering life-changing principles by Robert Chaen and his curated choice of Influencers and articles. Awareness is only the first step towards the mastery of principles that will change your life forever.
Robert is the Founder of ChangeU, CEO-Celebrity Whisperer, MoVsha Entrepreneurs, Speakers & Influencers Show, and the Father of Asian FireWalking.
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