Robert Chaen’s Dating Secrets for Men (Not Boys)
I’m sharing my latest Dating Online MasterClasss for real men and especially for those who think they are too old for dating, yes I speaking to you!
❤️ The most attractive part of a woman:
To me I generally rank the attractiveness of a body feature in this order (which is different from the norm, see list below):
❤️ Choose a great dating setting
Sunset dinners are always memorable.
It is not a good idea as it makes it awkward for both. Be observant and mindful of body language changes of my date instead of asking for permission.
❤️ Women are much more skillful with body language cues even though they can’t control or hide their infatuation and admiration. On the other hand, men have no clue and find it extremely hard and frustrating to read his date’s body language. He either overdo it too aggressively and competitively or they underdo it and become a wooden, expressionless date.
❤️ My dating game was playing no games
Don’t try to impress, or oversell yourself. It is very tacky to mention your successes, assets, knowledge, Most importantly, do not creep out a beautiful woman!
Don’t do a Trump groping or oggling (I so want to say this). Share your exciting extraordinary life stories and insights.
❤️ Old men have been there done that before your young inexperienced date had experienced it yet.
Don’t try to be a youth to make yourself much younger, or act like a grumpy, arrogant, self-centered, narcissistic old man.
❤️ Full Body Listening and Conversing are The #1 Turn On for Women
Talk through your eyes but don’t stare.
Resist looking or commenting on hot women walking pass.
Let your eyes to do the talking.
Golden Triangle Sensual Looking & Admiration
❤️ Golden Triangle Sensual Looking & Admiration
Every now and then, glance at both her eyes or one of her eyes, glance at her mouth, lips, back to her eyes – the best way to connect intimately with her. Never ever glance at her boobs especially if she is purposefully showing her cleavage.
❤️ Compliment her dressing, make-up, and accessories.
She knows you are checking her out and you find her attractive, and she too is checking you out. She took a much longer time than you to make herself look good for the date, so show you appreciate her efforts and choice of dress and accessories.
❤️ What to do with Your Eyes, Hands, Hugs and Kisses?
Let Your Hands Do The Talking
Start with the ever so gentle touching on her for example leading her by pressing your hand on her lower back or higher back, hold her arm in lifts, and slowly intensify the frequency of touch. Scale back if her body language shows she is uncomfortable.
Lower back, shoulders, arms, wrists are all very sensual for women and they will feel it.
Give her a gentle hug when you first meet.
If you can hold her hand that’s a very big sign of acceptance.
❤️ Your Clothing
If you over 40, go for a Classy, or Classic look – with high end jacket, shoes, single color shirt, and accessories.
I’m least attracted to a “Weak-Knees Houston” who are easily seduced by flashy sports cars, accepting advances by handsome faces and young muscular bodies.
❤️ A Fling, a Crush, and a Life Partner
You need to Differentiate between the 3 types.
A fling is a short, spontaneous sexual relationship, full of enjoyment, pleasures, lust, or wild behaviour.
A crush is a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable.
A life partner is of high morals, knows how to fend out all men or all women, and doesn’t cheat.
❤️ Let your date do most of the talking
If only men allow women to shine, talk about themselves this will really win a women’s heart, companionship, and friendship. All you have to do is to validate her and her worthiness.
❤️ Carry an Air of Mystery – less talking is more
Most women are highly intrigued when they can figure out who the man she is with. It excites her to no end when she searches way to figure out the man.
Then once she thinks she has figured out her man, she goes nagging him to change him – it is in women’s evolution to nag, women’s genes from your Mum, your Granny, all the way to Eve, “the first woman”.
❤️ Be very decisive on your dates
If you are like me who makes lots of daily decisions, strategies in my corporate, coaching, and entrepreneurship, I actually prefer not to make any decisions when I’m off playing my business and coaching roles – and escape in my mind and think of nothing.
But in a date you need to push yourself to decide on the rendezvous, what cuisine, what dish to order for you and suggest to her. Be a man – decide the place, decide for her and pay for the date.
❤️ Women fall in love with a decisive, firm, man with special unique pastimes, principles, ambitions, and integrity.
❤️ Talk intimate topics but avoid talking about your Ex on the first date.
❤️ Dating Advice for Older Men
Firstly don’t pretend to be young, you’ll look silly and immature.
❤️ Most women are attracted to the wisdom, class, and old fashion chivalry like opening doors, pulling the chair when she sits, the low voice tone of an older man.
You should use reverse psychology when she invariably asks how old you are. If you are around my age, you can say “I’m older than your dad!”
❤️ “I’m not sure if you are mature, bold and quick enough to keep up with my intellectual pace and ambitious energy. I’m attracted to a classy attractive powerful woman who knows how to fend off handsome young men and hum sup horny old men.
❤️ An Alpha Male attracts an Alpha Female: The Yin-Yang Attraction
(this section is only for those who are Alphas or who like confident, independent Alpha females)
❤️ A male or female Alpha is highly competitive and wants the very best. The secure Alpha eventually chooses another secure Alpha to complement, to challenge, and to calm him – it just the way it is, some things will never change as the famous song lyrics says.
❤️ What if you are not an Alpha, is an Alpha still compatible for you?
Yin-Yang and opposite attracts.
An Alpha may settle down, be contended and be attracted to a softer, kinder, more gentle life partner. This Alpha simply wants a less competitive and super-ambitious relationship, than with another Alpha on the same mountain.
I won’t worry that the Alpha will bully or control.
Firstly, if the Alpha is secure, she/he does not need to be a control freak. The Alpha will give you all the freedom as much as she/he wants freedom.
Secondly, if you are not an Alpha, you are likely enjoy playing the softer role, and wants to be dominated by an Alpha. You actually feel very protected and cared for by your Alpha.
It’s not all take-take with no give-give for your Alpha. The Alpha also has her/his needs met by feeling respected, given full authority, fulfilled and finds meaning to take care of his/her mate especially when you are in sicknesses.
❤️ My famous last words on Dating
One of my occupation hazards is I have a Role Folly as a Coach. I simply love to share useful words of wisdom to my readers, viewers, graduates, and friends. I’m in my other half life so I’m passing on my wisdom.
All the very best guys!
And ladies, give us men a chance ok.
It’s so not cool be a hard core feminist, to be alone, independent, and think you don’t need men – because you do need and want men, so do we men need and want you women in our lives!
[Dating is part of of 1 of the 9 Life Areas: Relationships. I coach this in my Papillon-Butterfly Personal Effectiveness PowerWorkshop]
Published: 5th August 2018.
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