My First Date with an Italian Goddess after my Wife’s Passing Away

You have no clue how difficult it was to go on my first date, ok.
After many years of being married, celibate (I was strict religious celibate for 10 years, and I was a 31-year old virgin), and 4½ years after my wife Brenda’s body passing away (i.e. Crossover), I took courage to go for my first date.

Yes, I’m a CEO, a top Coach, I coach CEOs & Celebrities confidence, leadership… but hey, I still need to Walk My Talk.

Who was my first date?
Federica Rossi, an Italian natural beauty, a goddess with high morals, a Kitsune Fox-Wolf with a super fit (and hot I must say) body, and a Yoga instructor who travels and teaches in Ibiza, Milan, and around the world.


Read about

Top 5 things men find most physically attractive in women

Top 5 things women find most physically attractive in men.jpg

Top 5 things women find most physically attractive in men

Top 5 things men find most physically attractive in women

Fede (pronounced as Fair- Dare) is a classy, beautiful, gorgeous woman – a strong Alpha Female yet with a soft, sensual feminine side. Fede is a Bronze Goddess whom I don’t wish to worship – only to admire. Neither is Fede a ‘princess’, a trophy girl friend which many men will desire – she is just a date, a budding friendship but she is not my Gf – so friends and relatives please don’t read too much into this date, ok?

She reminds me of Amal, George Clooney’s wife. She used to work with Ermenegildo Zegna, the Italian haute couture suits fashion house in Public Relations.

I still got it! (from Roberto Carlos-Air Asia ad)
I had a breakthrough in dating mindset. I felt apprehensive to go out on dates again despite the heavy pressure from my Mum every time I call her.

Letting go of my attachments of Brenda – this is a huge major challenge for me!

I told her I finally let go of my attachment to Brenda José, my late Portoguese wife after 4½ years. This breakthrough came during 10-12 July 2018 when a foreign couple named RayVan gave me a 3 day – 3 night astrology reading and counselling of a lifetime (this will be covered in another article as things have moved so fast and so positive since 12 July. You should be able to see significant changes in the last 23 days in my writing, thinking, words, Facebook postings, new initiatives).

I want to date again.
But I didn’t want to go a Tinder-Stranger date. Two of my cheeky ChangeU Interns, Adina and Lubna took my phone and installed Tinder  2 years and swiped right for over 50 hot and young profiles. At the end of the work day, they revealed to me what they did and by then I had one dozen matches to handle!

Choose a great dating setting
I took Fede to Heli Lounge Bar. We watched the romantic sunset over a 360° Kuala Lumpur skyline together.
We had a romantic dinner at Nomo Restaurant. We had the whole restaurant to ourselves at 7:50 pm. It had the fantastic impression that I booked the whole place only for us haha.


4. IMG_6307

Nomo: we had the whole place for the two of us.


While walking up to the Helipad for a night view of Kuala Lumpur skyline, I asked Fede if I could give her a kiss. Her tactful immediate response was it was not a good idea as it makes it awkward for both. She advised to be observant and mindful of body language changes of my date instead of asking for permission.

My dating game was playing no games
I didn’t try to impress Fede, or oversell myself. I didn’t mention anything about my being a top CEO, my successes, my assets, my knowledge – nothing. Most importantly, I did not creep out a beautiful woman! I did not do a Trump groping or oggling (I so want to say this). I did share my many exciting extraordinary life stories and insights.

Old men have been there done that before your young inexperienced date had experienced it yet.

I didn’t try to be a youth to make me much younger, or act like a grumpy, arrogant, self-centered, narcissistic old man.

As for my dating clothing my choice was a light color Hugo Boss jacket, grey silk shirt, and dark navy blue Calvin Klein skinny jeans. It passed her world class fashion police test. I wore a classy avant-garde tailored series Hugo boss pure cashmere light wool jacket, simple color shirt (a grey Indian silk shirt given to me by Lubna from her parent’s shop in Malé when we did a workshop for Auditor’s General Office of Maldives n 2016), and a pair of high end shoes (Hugo Boss).

Intimate, Plutonic but not a Sexual Relationship
It turned out that Fede has become my informal dating coach. She gave me insightful tips from the women’s perspective.

My initial sense is Federica is going to be a great plutonic friend i.e. our relationship will be intimate, affectionate, caring, close, confidante, but not sexual.

“I will not Take a Pill in Ibiza”
I’m going to visit Fede in Milan and Ibiza when she does her Yoga Retreat stints. I thinking of basing a character of my new love story novel on her and my future adventure in Italy and Ibiza.

How I met Federica?
I have been quietly  operating an Airbnb place with 3 rooms on offer. I want to experience what is like to run an Airbnb business as I’ll be creating a Start-up for a niche travel category anytime soon when I get a Seeding Investor.

My famous last words on Dating
One of my occupation hazards is I have a Role Folly as a Coach. I simply love to share useful words of wisdom to my readers, viewers, graduates, and friends. I’m in my other half life so I’m passing on my wisdom. 

This is my best article on dating yet haha.

All the very best guys!
And ladies, give us men a chance ok.
It’s so not cool be a hard core feminist, to be alone, independent, and think you don’t need men – because you do need and want men, so do we men need and want you women in our lives!

Read about 

Feminism Has Ruined Millennials’ Sex Lives

XOXO Robert

Read more

Robren Dating Secrets for Men (Not Boys)


Read about

Robren’s Love Lessons on Sex-Money-Power in Relationships, Cheating, Seduction, Fights, Age Difference, Sugar-Daddies & Mistresses.

YouTube Video 

Whisper’s Love Lessons on Relationships, Sex, Money & Power Issues

[Dating is part of of 1 of the 9 Life Areas: Relationships. I coach this in my
Papillon-Butterfly Personal Effectiveness PowerWorkshop]


Robert Chaen Logo & Slogan.jpg
Written by Robert Cahen
CEO of ChangeU, Thinker, Writer, Speaker and Whisperer
Published on 4th August 2018.
Updated on 6th August 2018.
Copyright 2018 ©Share this post.
Like our pages:

SHARE this article.

You are most welcome to share this article in your social media or website with only 1 term & condition: acknowledge this source and author Robert Chaen