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The 17 Phases of Grieving

Grieving can go through any of these 17 Phases of Grieving – a roller-coaster of raw emotions:

Denial
● Anger at God (“Why me, why the victim?”), life, at close ones
● Abandonment and loneliness from close friends and relatives.
Friends will tell you to be strong, to get over it, to move  on, to let go, to have closure – because they feel awkward in your feelings, crying or ranting.
● “Nobody” seems to understand what you are going through. People feel awkward and dismiss your raw public feelings.
● Massive guilt. (Always remember: “It’s not meant to be.”. Let go. Let God.)
● Ranting to keep one’s sanity (I find blogging really helps me to heal).
● Paralysis and Inertia to do anything.
● Not wanting to look at objects or be at certain places or rooms as they are memory trigger reminders of missing that someone special.
● You yearn to be with the departed soul, and may want to give up living as you find “no meaning” to continue to live.
You become insidious, reckless, and you don’t care if you die.
● Hurtful remarks by insensitive relatives and friends.
(Brenda’s sister-in-law’s sister accused me of all sorts of things in FB, and even questioned why I was there at her death bed! The temptation is give them hell but forgiving is so much harder. Her relatives might criticize me for not being a perfect husband which I myself is the first to admit; but they can’t take away the truth and love that I was there for Brenda in sickness and health, taking care for her all through her long-term Crohn’s Disease, death scares, the list is endless. What really matters is your departed loved one and you know the truth).
● You want a reassuring Afterlife Sign from the departed soul.
● You start Talking to the Departed (and the soul “talks” back from The Other Side, and only you KNOW it’s him or her).
● Depression, eating for relief and escape.
● You want the Truth and seek Unconditional Love. Liars and hypocrites piss you off the most.
● Petty things don’t matter much to you.
● You need to get psychological help and support from your best friends/ relatives/ colleagues/ Church/ Temple/ Mosque/ Society.

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Grieving. Take your broken heart, make it into art.

 

Click for a sample template of Brenda’s Obituary-Tribute-Condolences Page.

One thing Andrew, my brother who is a Medical Doctor, did that was very beneficial when I arrived at Hong Kong International Airport from Kuala Lumpur was to get me straight into a normal functional routine as we took a slow bus back to his place.

I was like a shell-shocked walking zombie who had a sleepless night rushing to take the first flight out to Hong Kong to see Brenda. I was highly irritated with my brother for such mundane house rules and meaningless house instructions.

But you know what, normal routines like eating, showering, chatting, and even sleeping grounded me and prevented me from going to depression, despair, and massive guilt. It forced me to be physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually FUNCTIONAL which is the most useful thing in such extreme personal crisis.

In hindsight, I thanked my brother for this and that Brenda could hear me even when she was in a coma, as I whispered last FB and Whatsapp messages from her close friends, relatives, and graduates from all over the world.

#TheSecretAfterlife

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From Twin Souls Whispering between Whisperer Robert Chaen & The Love Angel Brenda
Brenda communicated with Robert in her last 25 minutes, and showed him an irrefutable 7-11 Afterlife Sign 2 hours after she crossed-over. Since crossing-over in 23 December 2013, Brenda continues to send countless afterlife signs, and whispers Secrets from The Other Side.

Twin Souls Whisperings with Brenda

This is the last “forever” FB banner picture in Brenda Jose’s fb page.

Published on 9 April 2017.


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