Why HALALing Everything had gone Sharia-Crazy in Asia
[WARNING: This is NON-Halal Satire]

The original purpose of “NON-HALAL” Labelling is for FOOD ONLY.



Why are crazy Islamofascists in Asia insisting on Halaling Everything:
Click links (highlighted in blue) for actual news articles.

Halal paint brushes
Halal Taxis (don’t laugh some “halal taxis” will refuse to carry you if you carry a suspicious non-halal lunch box)
Halal Airlines (Rayani Air died after 3 months)
Halal Hookers (click if you don’t believe: https://goo.gl/SGpocz )
Halal Hospitals (e.g. no alcohol swabs)
Halal Medicine
Halal War
Halal Afterlife (no one has confirmed this yet)
Halal Phone (approved by Zahir Naik)
Halal Apple Products (not designed by Tim Cook, a gay)
Halal Laptop (sorry no porn for Kelantanians, the biggest porn users in the most Halal State)
Halal Cinema (in Kelantan State, Malaysia)
Halal Hug (virtual air hug, no touch)
Halal Handshake (air handshake, no touch)
Halal Martial Arts (no touch MA, don’t believe click: https://goo.gl/lnGyAg )
Halal Tango (no touch Tango)
Halal Disco (same sex dancing floor, no gays or lesbians)
Halal Gambling
Halal Casino / Halal Poker 

Halal Banking Interest
Halal Education


Halal Team Building (no contact, same sex classes)
Halal Leadership (no Non-Muslim Leaders)
Halal IT Mall (no smoking, no Non-Muslims, No Dell, Cisco owned by Jews…) click here failure of Malay-Muslim only IT Mall (“Low Yat 2”)
Halal Petshop (no dogs, no guinea pigs, only Cats)
Halal Hair Saloon (you wash your own hair, hair scissors are 2 feet long)
Halal Corruption & Stealing
Halal Coins (washed daily)
Halal Banknotes (washable)
Halal Christmas (no X’mas decorations in Brunei)
Halal Divali Greetings (no mention of any Hindu Gods, pm only, no visible post)
Halal Condolences (no “RIP” wishes)
Halal Angpow/Lai See
Halal Killing (ask IS)
Halal/ Sharia-imposed Shopping Trolleys


Halal University (no non-Muslims e.g. UiTM)
Halal Hotel
Halal Pub (mocktails only)
Halal Wine (no alcohol)
Halal Cigarettes
Halal Toys (no Barbie invented by a Jew Ruth Handler…)
Halal Property
Halal Neighbors
Halal Friends
Halal Outlets & Business (only buy from Muslims, BOYCOTT Pork-eating or Jewish Businesses click here for Jewish American Businesspeople)
Halal Investments (no tobacco, casino, pork…)
Halal Launderette   click here
Halal Uber (no women drivers like Saudi Arabia)
Halal Voters (no women voters in Jordan)
Halal House (not a single cross-looking object or cross window)
Halal Finance (no Jews like Rothchilds, Soros…)
Halal Food Retail (no Baskin-Robbins, Starbucks, Sara Lee, Dunkin’ Donuts…)
Halal Social Media (no Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn…)
Halal News (no Bloomberg…)
Halal Hot Dog
Halal Dog (99% wrapped in plastic so you can still pat it)
Halal Pig (a self-cleaning, toilet-trained pig so you never have to bathe or touch it)
Halal Blind Guide Dog (dog super-trained to wipe its own saliva, not to lick the Muslim owner, can put on paw gloves by itself, coming soon in the next 1,000 years)
Halal Police Dog (dog super-trained not to lick its Muslim trainer, trainer uses disposable gloves)
Halal Bacon
Halal Vegetarian Mock Pork
Halal 72 Virgins in Heaven

Halal Birthday Cake (@McDonald’s Singapore & Malaysia)
Halal Government Dept/ Bank Counter Pens (disposable after 1 use)
Halal Toilet
Halal Door Handles (with disposable plastic wrap)
Halal Taps (self-cleaning taps with constant flow of water like a urinal)
Halal Clothing (aka Muslimah Fashion)
Halal Fashion (no gay/Jewish fashion designers like CK, MK, Polo, Gap, Levi…)
Halal Swimsuit Contest (fully clothed, no bikini)
Halal Beauty Pageant (no male judges or male audience)
Halal Cosmetics
Halal Cosmetics Counter (no gay or transgender salesperson)
Halal Condom (no they can’t use this)
Halal Blood (from Muslim donors only)
Halal Jokes (no stand-up comedians telling religious/racial jokes)
Halal Water
Halal Beach
Halal Swimming Pool (fully covered for both gender)
Offended by a Cartoonist

Halal Cartoon (no pig or dog cartoons like Snoopy)
Halal Movie (No sex, no kissing, no Valentine’s Day romance, no kalwat scenes, no sexy music or songs, no car chases, no skin, no skirts above knees, no violence, no guns, no f word, no jokes, no cartoons, no swimming, no dancing, no singing, no lottery, no drinks, no smokes, no Escobar, no Ozawa, no Spielberg, no Lagerfield, no Miss Universe, no K-Pop, no crosses, no Christmas, no dogs, no hot dogs, no ghosts, no fantasy, no art, no Ultraman, no gay moments…

But can have a rapist marrying his 12 year girl victim who looks like 18 movie scene, don’t believe click here.

NOTE: Some Muslim Politicians are trying to FOOL the Asian public that Hudud/ Halal labeling/ Sharia laws do not affect NON-Muslims.

Writer: unknown

If you think Halaling Everything has gone too crazy that it has lost its original meaning.