This is a true story of the PREDESTINY of 2 Wives who died on the same day December 23 – 3 years apart. And how the 2 wives got their husbands to carry on their LEGACIES.
Bring out your tissues.

On Christmas Eve 2016, I received a Whatsapp message from C.E. Teoh, a trainer associate of mine, about his family being involved in a car ACCIDENT at around Slim River, on their way to his hometown Penang for his father-in-law’s birthday celebration – no different from any other year.

He wrote his beloved wife Siew See was called home to be with God. I was shocked!

The car had a left side tyre exploded! Although he was calm and held the steering wheel tight, the Peugeot unexpectedly spun clockwise 180⁰ and slammed into the road divider! Teoh surreally looked at his motionless wife Siew See sitting in front, next to him.

He looked back at his son Jonathan sitting on the left side screaming in pain from a crushed left foot. But Jonathan was more concern about his mum.

Teoh’s daughter Abigail sitting behind whispered to her dad to stay calm and was a voice of guidance in an extreme crisis. Passerbys helped to call the Ambulance. Siew See had no pulse. She died on the spot.

His son Jonathan lost 4 left foot toes (except the pinky toe). He was in Assunta Hospital after a successful operation. His daughter Abigail, maid, and himself were not hurt.

Jonathan, a Hebrew name means “Gracious Gift of God” is also the same name of the only Nephew in my family. In Hebrew the meaning of the name Abigail is: Father rejoiced, or father’s joy. Gives joy. The intelligent, beautiful Abigail was Old Testament King David’s third wife, described as ‘good in discretion and beautiful in form.’

I’m a Soul Whisperer. This means I pray for Souls to cross-over to The Secret Afterlife peacefully before and after death, and not become a “ghost” (a soul which hangs around because of some unsettled Karma). I pray to crossed-over souls to give their close ones reassuring Afterlife Signs which individuals can relate to. I also counsel, help relatives grieve and move on in life.

I myself had witnessed my wife of 17 years Brenda José died over a period of 23 hours 23 minutes on 23 December 2013, and crossover exactly at 5:23 pm. It was THE hardest, longest, the most agonizing, and the most helpless experience in my life.

Many people wish they will be at their loved ones’ side at the time of passing over. But let me tell you it will be one of the toughest thing to go through, if it ever happens.

I had previously wished her dying was not so long and agonizing. I wished her death was quick. But when I heard Teoh’s story, I now accept my destiny and Brenda’s fate.

So, on the third memorial anniversary of Brenda, when a friend of mine lost his wife on the same date it brought me to tears instantly as it triggered my own traumatic memory of that fateful day 3 years ago. One never forget such memories.

A loss of a loved one is just indescribable to anyone who never experienced it.

I remember one of my Papillon (butterfly) Personal Effectiveness graduates told me get a hold of myself during my roller coaster emotional Eulogy at Brenda Jose’s Memorial on 11 January 2014. He simply had NO idea of the deep soul-felt feelings.

Brenda died from Crohn’s Disease, an incurable digestive disease that can cause inflammation and perforation of large intestines, toxicating and damaging all internal organs.

I quickly wrote back that I was in tears, and I was praying for him and his family. I wrote that I believed his wife Siew See will be his guardian angel as Brenda is my guardian angel guiding, protecting and alerting me.

I suggested that he used Facebook as a Funeral Event Page. Teoh wrote back that his family was rushing to place an obituary ad for the next day in a local English newspaper. His family is of the opinion there would be too many questions to take. Both his brother-in-law posted on his FB and his wife’s FB wall.

I wrote that he was right because of the shock and initial denial nearly all friends and relatives will bombard him with questions and more questions as they want a “CNN Live” updates on the unfolding situation.

I suggested a few solutions for his clear decision-making:

1) Facebook has the most direct reach of news to friends and relatives than mainstream newspapers.
2) Put a clause in caps like:
NOTE: AT THIS DIFFICULT AND GRIEVING TIME, OUR FAMILIES WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS PERSONALLY.
3) Most updates will be in this FB page.
4) Use this as a Tribute and Obituary page for relatives and friends to post their condolences, tributes, and comments.

Hopefully, with this story our readers, relatives and friends of Teoh, Siew See, me, and Brenda may get a glimpse of what Teoh, his family and I went through. You ask us to stay STRONG, we thank you for that. We are strong, but we are still humans. You may have no idea what’s like to be there…

I believe one can be strong if ever a crisis happens.

Now CE Teoh and Robert Chaen are exploring ways they can collaborate in ChangeU International (www.ChangeU.co).

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A GRIEVING often goes through any of these 14+ Phases in a Roller-Coaster ride of Emotions:
Denial
Anger at God (“Why me, why the victim?”), life, at close ones
Abandonment and loneliness from close friends and relatives.
“Nobody” seems to understand what you are going through. People feel awkward and dismiss your raw public feelings.
Hurt by insensitive people (Brenda’s sister-in-law’s sister accused me of being a conman, and questioned why I was there at her death bed! The temptation is give them hell but letting go is so much harder.)
Massive guilt.
Ranting to keep one’s sanity (I find blogging really helps me to heal).
Paralysis and Inertia to do anything.
Not wanting to look at objects or be at certain places or rooms as they are memory reminders of missing that someone special.
You yearn to be with the departed soul, and may want to give up living as you find “no meaning” to continue to live. You become insidious, reckless, and you don’t care if you die .
You want a reassuring Afterlife Sign from the departed soul.
You start Talking to the Departed (and the soul “talks” back from The Other Side, and only you KNOW it’s him or her).
Depression, eating for relief and escape.
You want the Truth and seek Unconditional Love. Liars and hypocrites piss you off the most.
Petty things don’t matter much to you.
You need to get psychological help and support from your Church/ Temple/ Mosque/ Society.

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Click for a sample template of Brenda’s Obituary-Tribute-Condolences Page.

One thing Andrew, my brother who is a Medical Doctor, did that was very beneficial when I arrived at Hong Kong International Airport from Kuala Lumpur was to get me straight into a normal functional routine as we took a slow bus back to his place.

I was like a shell-shocked walking zombie who had a sleepless night rushing to take the first flight out to Hong Kong to see Brenda. I was highly irritated with my brother for such mundane house rules and meaningless house instructions.

But you know what, normal routines like eating, showering, chatting, and even sleeping grounded me and prevented me from going to depression, despair, and massive guilt. It forced me to be physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually FUNCTIONAL which is the most useful thing in such extreme personal crisis.

In hindsight, I thanked my brother for this and that Brenda could hear me even when she was in a coma, as I whispered last FB and Whatsapp messages from her close friends, relatives, and graduates from all over the world.

Hero-CEO Whisperer Robert Chaen is the CEO of ChangeU.co.

#TheSecretAfterlife