A Love Letter to ‘The Greatest Dad’ – Robert Chaen

A love letter to ‘The Greatest Dad’ – Robert Chaen

Happy Father’s Day. I love you Papa!

M&J1- 2
My parents Michael & Jessica renewing their marriage vows in their Diamond Jublilee 60th wedding anniversary at St. Michael’s Church, Ipoh, Malaysia in 2009. With their sons and spouses in attendance, Tom, Jimmy, Andrew & Robert.
My siblings & spouses: Andrew & Michelle, Jimmy, Tom & Maureen (seated from left) Brenda I standing in the middle. Jonathan & Nicolle, my parent’s only grandchildren from Andrew & Michelle.

“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.”

~ Bette Davis

hated by your child

There were a few times I hated you in my early immature life, especially when I didn’t get what I so badly wanted.

I lashed out at you, thinking you were unreasonable and unloving. Years later, you revealed to me that those times when you had to say “no” to me were the most difficult times for you.

You were deeply hurt by my insensitive, harsh, rebellious remarks. I was too selfish, blinded by my own judgments, and could not see it from your perspective at all.

I have since realised that what I hated in you is actually what I hated in myself – the “mirror effect”. The hatred is a direct reflection of my inner state of mind and judgments, not yours.

Ironically, underneath the both sides of the coin of hatred and hurt is actually… love, and that we care deeply enough…

I have not given you any grandchildren. However, I’m a father like you – but a different type. As a coach, my “children” are my staff, graduates, readers, listeners, fans and clients.

I talk about you to my “family” of thousands. It’s funny that they know more about you, but you hardly get to meet any of your “grandchildren”… this is your legacy, Dad.

Dad, I ask for your forgiveness for the all times I had hurt you, rejected you, yelled at you, and my destructive moods.

I forgive you Dad for the times when you’re not physically there in my growing years because you were a hardworking travelling Salesman – making an honest living and making ends meet. Actually, there is hardly much to forgive you.

Dad, I admire you for your courage, fairness, love, resourcefulness, sacrifice, for being street-smart, and a corporate whistle-blower of your boss, a ruthless, corrupted director of sales & marketing.

You are truly a man of honour and principles. You provided well for our family, needs and wants, our education, the list is endless.

You had a tough life as an adopted child, neglected and left to fend for yourself. You struggled with poverty, carried heavy pails of water daily from the community water tap to your neighbours for a few cents, only to have the precious little money taken by your foster parents.

But you’ve done excellent in your life. You made sure that we did not have to experience the tough life that you had experienced.

You are my hero. I’m proud to say that you and Mum have shaped my life well – by polishing the raw diamond in me to a brilliant one.

Your companionship and endless love for Mum and celebrating your 65th wedding anniversary this year is truly incredible and exemplary.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me in times of trouble, and helped me when I needed it most. You reminded me that “blood is thicker than water”.

Dad, please let go about worrying about your children and grandchildren. It’s not your fault what had happened in our lives. We’ll take care of ourselves with our life choices we make. We’ll find ways to stay together as one family.

We are blessed with your longevity, good health at your age, and alert mind…

Be proud that you are “The Greatest Dad” – to us who matter the most.

Love and hugs to Michael
from your loving son,
Robert Chaen

This is dedicated to the fathers and mothers who have been hated by their children, and to people who have ever hated their parents (you are not alone… it’s 99.9% of us). – June 15, 2014.

* Robert Chaen is the CEO of ChangeU International. He writes at www.Facebook.com/RobertChaen.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider. 

– See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/sideviews/article/a-love-letter-to-the-greatest-dad-robert-chaen#sthash.UOegjHBx.dpuf

Published by

Robert Chaen

Global CEO-Founder of ChangeU and Movsha Movers & Shakers, Hero-CEO Whisperer, Writer, The #1 Alpha Change Expert, Father of Asian FireWalking Robert Chaen is an International Keynote Speaker, writer, researcher, and corp games designer. He is famously known to be the “Hero-CEO Whisperer”, 1-on1 coaching with many CEOs and Celebrities for corporate strategies, staff & office political issues, personal branding, and even public figure OSHA safety drilling called Drager Defense. He has transformed CEOs and managers in Coca-Cola China, TVB Hong Kong, Cathay Pacific, Hong Kong Airport Services, VADS, TM, Public Bank, Auditor General's Office Maldives, etc. He is the prolific creator and online Author of innovative management tools such as DragonCEO, Diamond Leader, Papillon Personal Effectiveness, OSHA Drager Defense, KPI Bank, etc. He is also the Founder of Movsha, an international networking with monthly mingles with MOVers & SHAkers, Angels, Entrepreneurs, CEOs, Celebrities, HR-PR-CSR, HODs, and the Most Influential IDEA people. ​Chaen is widely considered as one of the top International Platform Keynote Speakers for Resorts World Genting Senior Management Conference (Manila), 7-Eleven HK, Samsung, Coca-Cola China Mini-MBA @Tsing Hua University, Cathay Pacific, Hong Kong Jockey Club, The Story Conference where he interviewed Datuk Kamarudin (Chairman of AirAsia) and Siti Nurhaliza. He has been widely featured in TVB, AWSJ, CNBC, SCMP, The Star, and Sin Chew. As “The Father of Asian FireWalking”, he coached TVB celebrities (Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin) to walk on 650°C fire; and raised HK$68M in the world’s 1st and only live TV Charity FireWalk (TVB Tung Wah Charity Show), before Tony Robbins even came to Asia. If Robert can get you to walk on 650⁰C fire, he can inspire you to be THE BEST. He champions CN-HK-EU-US Tycoons to be philanthropic, and to be angel investors to support the next generation of Jack Mas, Steve Jobs, Richard Bransons, Steven Spielbergs, or Barrack Obamas. With some slick motivational speakers with fake doctorates out there, graduates often describe Robert to be "the most credible, empowering, truthful Coach" who believe in his graduates to believe in themselves. ​However, clients have described Robert as "The #1 Cool Badass Alpha Change Expert". He has the coolest first class stature, rapport and trust from clients. He will not hesitate to tell the badass truth ever so gently because clients are paying him big bucks to reveal the truth, find solutions, persuade the hostile HODs, and align cross-teams within the organization. Originally based in Hong Kong for 20+ years, he had worked with top Branding/Ad agencies at J Walter Thompson and Leo Burnett, and was a certified FranklinCovey (7 Habits) in USA, and NLP MasterCoach (USA). His warmth is known to soften the most hardened, resistant sceptics. He will inspire your team to Go for Top 1, or to be a Dragon CEO. With boundless energies, Robert owns 15+ successful business Joint-Ventures, and created unique products under his global VC network called Chaen's Angels VC. He is deeply passionate about ChangeUTH Youth CSR, Science-Based Medicine (vs. quackery), short films and Reality TV. Touched by a personal tragedy through the loss of his HK-born Portuguese wife, co-coach and business partner, Brenda José of 18 years, Robert explores the many ways in which the spirit world is communicating with the living with real scientific studies and evidence. He gives inspiring conferences on The Secret Afterlife.

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