My closure and moving On
(Twin Souls Part 1.1 of the true real time story of a ‘Twin Soul’ connection, and the search for unconditional love, truth, healing, attraction, and spirituality)
I just connected with Gerry, the eldest brother of Brenda José, my late wife who died 3 months ago on 23 December, 2013. He emailed me these two pics of Brenda’s grave and the view it overlooks.
He visited her grave twice in March 2014, while in Hong Kong. He put flowers on her grave and talked to her.
I thank Brenda’s father for letting her rest in peace at Chaiwan Catholic Cemetery, Hong Kong.
And organizing her funeral in Hong Kong.
Thrown away were my gifts to her – a priceless engagement ring, a wedding band, a Cartier watch, a vintage Rolex, a laptop, and a stock collection of high end museum-grade rings/pieces to beautiful contemporary jewelry which I invested for her to start an eBay business (she didn’t do much with it, she was her own buyer and user, and she gave away pieces and sets as gifts).
Brenda’s 1.17 carat heart-shaped diamond engagement ring incredibly had BOTH her birth and soul numbers 7 and 11, and my soul number 1. I bought it the next day after I proposed to her in a personal growth workshop. The workshop organizer’s daughter knew the owner of a high end jewelry shop in Grand Hyatt Hong Kong in Wanchai North. I said the shop was too scary and too high end for me.
Nevertheless, the owner showed us a heart-shaped diamond which she couldn’t sell for a long time. Although the inclusion was not noticeable its clarity was not high or flawless, so the value was much lower. The owner was willing to sell it at near cost. Brenda and I felt in love with it. I couldn’t afford it, but heck I wanted Brenda to have it.
We were previously window shopping for heart-shaped diamonds for a few months, looking at the 0.5 carat range. We meditated to attract for a good and affordable diamond. And according to the Law of Attraction, this 1.17 diamond from no way attracted us and it was meant to be. Luckily the carat was not 7.11 or 11.7 carat! We kind of took it for granted, but looking back what are the odds of attracting a diamond that is cut to a perfect 1.17 carat – with both our soul numbers…
Sigh… oh GOD. It was not the momentary value, but the priceless sentimental value I was hoping to get back.
Alas! It was not meant to be.
Belongings can be a bad reminder of what you had lost forever.
Or a good memory to cherish someone precious, to let go and move on.
As he is quite blind and at 94 years old, her Dad probably did not know how valuable the stuff were. I’m just wondering whether the maid went back quietly to take back everything…
Or, some lucky rubbish collector would be decked in fine jewelry.
It must had been very painful for her Dad and Mum.
I can feel their pain.
Everyone grieve differently.
I forgave her Dad for not allowing me to attend her funeral, and throwing away her things.
I hope he forgives me for whatever wrong or hurt I’d done.
Gerry was the dearest to Brenda. She loved him a lot. With a 11 year age difference he taught her the facts of life, and exposed her to many experiences. Gerry was a top Radio DJ at RTHK (Radio TV Hong Kong).
When Gerry migrated his family to USA when her only daughter studied there, I happened to come into Brenda’s life in Hong Kong. She said I filled a deep void and loneliness. I became a surrogate brother to her initially.
‘A little bird told me’ that Brenda will be Gerry’s little guardian angel to help him in his life.
I still have 40 boxes of her stuff in Kuala Lumpur which I’ll eventually do something about… too many memories attached to the items.
This is the first time I seeing a picture of her grave stone.
I was not invited to her funeral at Hong Kong Funeral Home, North Point on 11 January, 2014, although some of her friends did attend .
Brenda and I filed for divorce in Hong Kong when we separated in 2010, but never completed it.
We were a dynamic coaching duo from 2000 to 2012. She was my partner-in-crime.
On the day of her death she ‘told’ me that she wanted to be known as my wife until her death.
I agreed and respected her second last wish.
This is closure for me.
Letting go is very hard.
I’ve moved on… and she is very close to me and my heart.
Brenda was my Twin-Soul when she was here. Now she is my Guardian Angel of Unconditional Love.
She still guides, protects, attracts good people and things to me, removes unsuitable people, cherish me, and have my best interests in her heart – just like before.
And she shows me angelic signs… these are catalysts for my 7th Sense (i.e. spiritual sense).
Since her crossing-over, I went through a continuous roller-coaster of peak lows and high emotions, anger, courage, insecurity, inspiration, doubts, clarity, a near-death scare from my old-aging father… – relentlessly one after another.
And MH370… yes, she showed me an unmistakable angelic sign from heaven in the form of the turning back and hiding movements of a black beetle.
But now I’m calmer, peaceful, and mindful.
Thank you for answering my prayers.
I’m a better man.
Now I’m ready to help others…
I miss her very much.
Published: Thursday 27 March 2014, 1:37am.
Updated: Sunday 11 May 2014, 8:11pm